Advice

There are some great opportunities a rental instrument can offer your student, but when you get to the details of the rental agreement, you can end up paying 3X the worth of the used student trumpet, trombone, french horn, clarinet, flute, or saxophone you are renting, and in some cases you might find that certain circumstances will not allow you to rent at all. Clear up some of the rental confusions and watch this video.

The best insurance against your child quitting their instrument is your involvement in their music educations.  “But I’m not musically talented!” “But I don’t have time!” And I’m sure this statement of mine stirs up a multitude more “Buts!”, BUT…. There are some ways you can do it though you have no musical talent or time. Your student is learning trombone? Buy some recordings for them, and put them on during dinner or driving in the car. Going out to dinner on Friday night? Find a club that has live jazz and go there. Take a few minutes and ask your student to help you make a sound on their instrument. They will at some point find a favorite song that they want to play all the time. Make sure to get a quick video of it that you share with your friends and family. All of these things show your child that you are along for the ride with them. If you are their partner, they will trust you just a little bit more when you encourage them not to quit, or to keep going after a rough lesson or concert. If their instrument becomes part of your community, they will feel more obligation to continuing to learn. If their instrument is nothing to you, it will likely soon become nothing to them.

Though the internet is flooded with thousands of free videos and performances, get your kids out to a concert. Similar to the ocean, a delicious meal, or the seasons, music needs to be experienced live. Recordings and videos of hugely important as well, but they do not discredit the experience of a music performance. You can cook a delicious meal to every detail in the recipe, but there is always something more to that same recipe being artistically prepared for you by a professional chef. Music is no different. Go see a concert.

Let’s not go nuts here, but make sure your expectations stay above that of your child’s. You may feel like a broken record sometimes, or want to avoid being pushy, but studies have actually shown that how well parents actually articulate their high expectations has very positive affects on the success their children experience when they grow up.

It’s a fact, kids don’t want to be told to do better, be better, practice more, but your input, your consistently communicated belief in their abilities, will affect their ability to be successful in the future, in whatever they do. Learning the trumpet or flute might be their overture, but these musical experiences  and lessons for success will be woven into the rest of the years that make up a beautiful symphony.

When you are praising your child for a good job, you are in a way teaching them what to praise about themselves as well. Thinking of praise this way, what praise habits do you want to reinforce?

“Great Job- you’re the best!” In this instance you are reinforcing a noun, not a verb. Your child is left relishing and celebrating over a label that was just applied to them. Over time, labels do not hold up well.

Great Job! All your hard practicing and work paid off! Now you just praised the verb. Working, practicing, doing. These things are the meat and substance to all the “bests” in your child’s future. When you praise them, praise the verbs that got them to the win and they will learn to appreciate the process as well as the destination.